We Should All Learn A Lesson From Our Colorblind Children

Racism exist, it’s embedded in the fabric of this country on every side. Some people choose to hate black people, and some people choose to hate white people, and some people choose to hate other races, whether out loud, or behind closed doors.

These people will always exist, and no movement, no idea, no call for change is going to stop a racist from being a racist. Its history is older than anyone on this planet, and it affects every single continent on this Earth. Yes, racism exist everywhere.

When our young children go to school, or the playground, do you think they pick their friends based on the color of their skin? Do you think they care where they live, or what background they come from? They don’t. They see another little human. They see a person. They pick their friends based upon simple things, like whether they play the same games, or like the same toys.

Our beautiful, innocent children…are colorblind.

They don’t separate people into categories, or stereotypes until we as parents and loved ones force them too. We plant that seed, the moment they want to invite their friend to their birthday party, or have them over for a play date and we don’t allow it. Knowing nothing about the child or his/her family, we don’t allow it, because of stereotypes and assumptions. We create the questions in their head, and we make them wonder why.

We plant the seed, when we are riding in the car with them, and comment on a part of town, as we pass it, or blame the color of someone's skin for the way they are driving. We plant the seed when we turn on the news with them in the room, and comment about what we see. Every word out of our mouth, everything we say and do, they are watching, and they are learning, and they will mimic.  

This goes far beyond race, and deeper into stereotyping in general. The majority of us have been victims, just as a great many of us have been guilty of doing it. My son was once refused a play date with a friend because he comes from a divorced home. Literally when my son’s mother called to ask if they could schedule one, the other mother told her “Your son comes from a broken home and we don’t want our son to think that’s okay.” 60% of all marriages end in divorce in this country today. Is that my sons fault? No. So should he be stereotyped and shunned because of it? No.

Guess what? It IS okay. You know what else is okay? Everything else, about every other child out there that isn’t yours. Children are children, completely oblivious to their parent’s point of view or beliefs, until we allow those views and beliefs to enter their minds. Have we ever considered that if maybe we allowed our children to go, or allowed their friend to come, that both children might gain a positive experience from it? Have we considered that maybe they would learn something good, instead of something bad?

Stereotyping can’t end, until we stop passing it along to our children. Until we stop stereotyping in their presence, until we stop watching the news with them in the room, until we stop filtering out invites to those who might be different than us, to our child’s birthday. Until we make these changes, this problem will continue to plaque our nation. 

For some if not most of us, our parents did the same things. For some of us, this plays a part in why we as adults, feel the way we do today. Must we follow the path of negativity paved by the generations that came before us? Must we continue a negative cycle so out dated, in today's incredibly diverse society?

We don’t have to…we choose too. The beautiful thing is that just as we have the choice to pass it on to our children, we have the choice to break the cycle as well. We should make that choice.

Imagine if one parent, chose to break from the mold and made that phone call, and invited that friend from a different part of town to their child's birthday party. What if not only that child came, but his/her parents came as well? What do you think would happen?

It’s safe to assume nothing. It's likely everything would go well and everyone would have fun, and you know what would happen? Not only have two separate families been brought together, by this simple act of inclusion, but it might just impact other families as well.

Maybe, another family in attendance, who was considering leaving their child’s friend off the guest list, for a ridiculously stereotypical reason, will include them now. They should’ve in the beginning, but sometimes you need to be a witness of a change in others, to see the need to change within yourself.

Too many of us do it, white, black, or whatever color we are. There are too many of us in this country who allow our own issues with stereotyping others, to be projected onto our children. There are too many of us, who isolate ourselves and our children into stereotypical categories, because it's what's comfortable. We stay comfortably nestled inside our own little comfort zones, because that's where we will safe. Well unfortunately change isn't safe.

Change doesn't happen inside that little bubble that is our comfort zone. The only way to see change, and to create change is to face that fear, and to step outside of your comfort zone. The only way to make a difference is to break down our own personal walls of what we've been taught to believe is normal, and choose to create a new normal. We didn’t create this problem, but we keep it going. Let the cycle be broken with us.

Maybe we should start by not focusing so much on getting other adults to change their opinions, because that’s unlikely. The older we get, the more resistant we are to changing the way we think.  Maybe we should focus our attention more on teaching our children about tolerance and acceptance. Maybe we should spend less time having a war among ourselves as adults, and focus on the ones that are watching us, and learning from our actions. Our children...the future of our nation.

Our children watch everything we do, and will take with them everything they learn from us. Is there a better reason on Earth to change our behavior than our children?

We worry constantly about the world our children are growing up in. We wonder what state it will be in, when they are our age. How we choose to act now, will determine that. The world we create for them today, the ideologies we teach them, and the things they witness, will determine who they will be tomorrow.

Do we want to save our nation? Then let’s teach our children, not to judge or stereotype a person by anything other than the soul and the spirit they possess. Teach them to be open minded and accepting of everyone regardless of stereotypes. 

Allow them to be colorblind, and in doing so, the possibility exist that we might over time become colorblind as well. To create change, we must be the change within ourselves, and project that change out onto others. It is time to be the difference, so our kids can see the change.

We Should All Learn A Lesson From Our Colorblind Children

Racism exist, it’s embedded in the fabric of this country on every side. Some people choose to hate black people, and some people choose to hate white people, and some people choose to hate other races, whether out loud, or behind closed doors.

These people will always exist, and no movement, no idea, no call for change is going to stop a racist from being a racist. Its history is older than anyone on this planet, and it affects every single continent on this Earth. Yes, racism exist everywhere.

When our young children go to school, or the playground, do you think they pick their friends based on the color of their skin? Do you think they care where they live, or what background they come from? They don’t. They see another little human. They see a person. They pick their friends based upon simple things, like whether they play the same games, or like the same toys.

Our beautiful, innocent children…are colorblind.

They don’t separate people into categories, or stereotypes until we as parents and loved ones force them too. We plant that seed, the moment they want to invite their friend to their birthday party, or have them over for a play date and we don’t allow it. Knowing nothing about the child or his/her family, we don’t allow it, because of stereotypes and assumptions. We create the questions in their head, and we make them wonder why.

We plant the seed, when we are riding in the car with them, and comment on a part of town, as we pass it, or blame the color of someone's skin for the way they are driving. We plant the seed when we turn on the news with them in the room, and comment about what we see. Every word out of our mouth, everything we say and do, they are watching, and they are learning, and they will mimic.  

This goes far beyond race, and deeper into stereotyping in general. The majority of us have been victims, just as a great many of us have been guilty of doing it. My son was once refused a play date with a friend because he comes from a divorced home. Literally when my son’s mother called to ask if they could schedule one, the other mother told her “Your son comes from a broken home and we don’t want our son to think that’s okay.” 60% of all marriages end in divorce in this country today. Is that my sons fault? No. So should he be stereotyped and shunned because of it? No.

Guess what? It IS okay. You know what else is okay? Everything else about every other child out there, that isn’t yours. Children are children, completely oblivious to their parent’s point of view or beliefs, until we allow those views and beliefs to enter their minds. Have we ever considered that if maybe we allowed our children to go, or allowed their friend to come, that both children might gain a positive experience from it? Have we considered that maybe they would learn something good, instead of something bad?

Stereotyping can’t end, until we stop passing it along to our children. Until we stop talking about it in their presence, until we stop watching the news with them in the room, until we stop filtering out invites to those, who might be different than us to our child’s birthday. Until we make this change, this problem will continue to plaque our nation. 

For some if not most of us, our parents did the same things. For some of us, this plays a part in why we as adults, feel the way we do today. Must we follow the path of negativity paved by the generations that came before us? Must we continue a negative cycle so out dated in today's incredibly diverse society?

We don’t have to…we choose too. The beautiful thing is that just as we have the choice to pass it on to our children, we have the choice to break the cycle as well. We should make that choice.

Imagine if one parent, chose to break from the mold and made that phone call, and invited that friend from a different part of town to their child's birthday party. What if not only that child came, but his/her parents came as well? What do you think would happen?

It’s safe to assume nothing. It's likely everything would go well and everyone would have fun, and you know what would happen? Not only have two separate families been brought together, by this simple act of inclusion, but it might just impact other families as well.

Maybe, another family in attendance, who was considering leaving their child’s friend, off the guest list for a ridiculously stereotypical reason, will include them now. They should’ve in the beginning, but sometimes you need to be a witness of a change in others, to see the need to change within yourself.

Too many of us do it, white, black, or whatever color we are. There are too many of us in this country who allow our own issues with stereotyping others, to be projected onto our children. There are too many of us, who isolate ourselves, and our children into stereotypical categories, because it's what's comfortable. We stay comfortably nestled inside our comfort zone, afraid of what lies on the outside of it.

Well change doesn't happen inside that little bubble that is our comfort zone. The only way to see change, and to create change is to face that fear, and to step outside of your comfort zone. The only way to make a difference is to break down our own personal walls of what we've been taught to believe is normal, and choose to create a new normal. We didn’t create this problem, but we keep it going. Let the cycle be broken with us.

Maybe we should start by not focusing so much on getting other adults to change their opinions, because that’s unlikely. The older we get, the more resistant we are to changing the way we think.  Maybe we should focus our attention more on teaching our children about tolerance and acceptance. Maybe we should spend less time having a war among ourselves as adults, and focus on the ones that are watching us, and learning from our actions. Our children...the future of our nation.

Our children watch everything we do, and will take with them everything they learn from us. Is there a better reason on Earth to change our behavior than our children?

We worry constantly about the world our children are growing up in. We wonder what state it will be in, when they are our age. How we choose to act now, will determine that. The world we create for them today, the ideologies we teach them, and the things they witness, will determine who they will be tomorrow.

Do we want to save our nation? Then let’s teach our children, not to judge or stereotype a person by anything other than the soul and the spirit they possess. Teach them to be open minded and accepting of everyone regardless of stereotypes. 

Allow them to be colorblind, and in doing so, the possibility exist that we might over time become colorblind as well. To create change, we must be the change within ourselves, and project that change out onto others. It is time to be the difference, so our kids can see the change.

Laughing When They Fart, Will Make Them Love You More

The struggle is real, for couples in a new relationship. For the first few months at least, every time they sleep over, it’s a battle to the death with your mind and your stomach. You go out of your way, not to hit up your favorite Mexican joint at lunch, and you stock up on antacids and anything else that may help you keep your back end in check. I mean everyone farts, but that’s a serious level of comfort in a relationship, and for some a deal breaker if it happens to soon. For some it’s about manners, and for others it’s just about the fact that it’s well…kind of gross.

You imagine the worst possible scenarios: You’re making out and it’s getting hot and heavy. Clothes are starting to shed, and things are about to happen, when out of nowhere you get that feeling. Your stomach tightens up, you hear a little gurgle, and in that moment you know, you have to let one go. You squeeze and squeeze, trying to keep it in, but your best effort to stop it is futile, and a quiet little squeak sneaks out. “Oh God”, you think to yourself, “Did they hear that?” You start sweating, thinking back to that burrito you had at lunch. You don’t want to ruin the moment, so you try to block it out, but you just can’t help imagining that invisible gas that is slowly filling the air around you. As they start kissing down your stomach, you start praying to God it doesn’t smell. Its pure torture as you wait, one minute, then two, then three minutes go by. You don’t smell anything, but do they? Finally at about the 4 minute point you feel confident that your little slip has gone undetected and continue on your way. You dodged a bullet that time, but it will happen again.

It’s inevitable that with time in a relationship, one of you are going to break that seal. It could be anywhere. We all hope that fateful moment is not at the dinner table when they meet your parents, but hey, things happen. We convince ourselves that the key is to keep them from sharing that embarrassing moment with you, for as long as possible. Let’s face it though, in reality that’s can be a painful thing to do. You wake up in the morning with that inevitable urge, your partner sleeping next to you and you fight it back. Then comes another and you fight that back to, and by three or four attempts your stomach is in knots. You stare at the bedroom door, planning your escape, but she’s cuddled up in your arms. You don’t want to wake her, so you suffer through it. Finally she gets up to pee, and as soon as you hear the bathroom door shut, you let loose the dogs of war. You have to be honest, in that moment, farting is the greatest feeling in the world.

I like the rest of us, I was the same way with my girlfriend. I unfortunately have a bit of a flatulence problem, and more often than not, they don’t smell nice. The way my girlfriend is about her own bodily functions, only made it that much worse. She’s that girl that likes to pretend she farts rainbows and poops diamonds, and swears I’ll never witness her do it. We’ve all dated a few of those. Well, in a new relationship, your first reaction to that, is that she’s going to be grossed out if YOU do it. That being said, when she would stay over, I would go out of my way not to fart in front of her. My laundry room became my special place to hide when I needed to do it, because she never went in there (Thankfully dryers are sealed). I mean God forbid I did it in my room, and it lingered. If she unknowingly walked into a gas chamber, that would just be awful.

So we’d be watching tv just cuddling on the couch, and I’d feel one coming. I’d make up an excuse and quietly sneak off, and into the laundry room I’d go. Thankfully the laundry rooms upstairs, so she just thought I was doing something in my room (I did a lot of things in my room apparently). In the mornings, I’d wait until she got up to go to the bathroom and just like the rest of you, as soon as I heard the door shut, I would pull the covers up tight around me and let it go, hoping she’d stay in their long enough for the smell to go away. This was all well and good, until the day one caught me off guard.

We were just finishing up our regular 6 a.m. routine. Since she took longer in the morning getting ready, she would shower and do her girl thing, while I made us coffee and breakfast, then I’d run upstairs and get ready myself. We finished up and had come downstairs together. She was munching on some toast and looking at her phone, while I poured our coffee. Out of nowhere, like a thief in the night, I got that urge. It didn’t feel like too much pressure, so thinking it was going to be a quiet one, I just let it out. Well, needless to say, my back end had pulled a fast one on me. Instead of a silent little breathe of wind, this thing came out with a fury. I kid you not, it literally sounded like the roar of an African lion. Mid bite into her toast, her eyes shot up at me, and I went white. Expecting some sort of horribly negative, and grossed out reaction, I did the only thing I could think of, and with a surprised look on my face just said “What happened?” I don’t know what in my right mind possessed me to think “What Happened?” was an appropriate reaction, given the volume level of that fart, but in my state of panic, I figured better that, then admit to it.

The next one or two seconds were dead silence, me quietly dreading her response to my lack of manners, and her just staring at me, that half-eaten toast just dangling in her fingers, then it happened. She started laughing. Not just some little nervous giggle, but a belly laugh so hard she started to tear up. For like 30 seconds she just stood there and laughed at me. I was shocked. She had defied my expectations. This woman, who refused to let me believe she went number two, was now all-out cracking up in front of me over a fart, and it was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. No negative or harsh reaction, no scolding, just laughing at me, like it was the funniest thing ever, and I was perfectly okay with that. A boundary was crossed and no prisoners were taken, and our comfort level with each other, rose just a little bit more.

She later told me she thought it was funny the way I tried to act like it didn’t happen. She then told me she was used to it, because her dad and brothers fart in front of her all the time. Maybe a woman with brothers, is the exception to the rule in this case, or maybe for us MILLENNIALS it’s just not a big thing. Either way her reaction was perfect. She still swears up and down she’ll never do that in front of me, and I try not to make it a habit of doing it in front of her. I do so, more for manners sake than the fear of her reaction if I do. I’ll admit that every now and then, I’ll feel one coming while she’s with me, and instead of holding it in, I’ll push it out, just so I can see and hear that adorable laugh again. The way she reacts to that moment, reminds me that she accepts me as I am, and makes me love her even more. Yes, farting is gross at times, and the smell can just make it worse, but the fact is we all do it. So when that moment comes with the person you’re with, no matter your personal views on farting, or where you are, accept it. It happens. Don’t scold them, or make them feel embarrassed, and don’t make it a big deal. Just laugh, because let’s face it, whether your five years old or 40, farting is funny to most of us.