In dating, I’ve discovered a common problem that I don’t
think gets enough attention and should be addressed. Unfortunately in the world
of smart phones and social media, so-called creepers be it the psycho stalker,
crazy ex, or old friend/hookup/coworker who just won’t get the hint, has access
to numerous ways to get in contact with you.
Be it males or female, unless you chose to live your life completely
locked down and unavailable to the world, they will find you one way or another,
and attempt to make conteact. It could
be as simple as “Hey hope all is well”, or as complex as “I have something of
yours, do you want it back?”
It’s
the bait and hook approach. The goal is to get a response, in any way possible.
They likely are aware that you don’t wish to communicate with them, but in
their head, as long as they can get a response out of you, any sort of open
door to dialogue, then they have a chance. They are arrogant in this way. They
have no regard for how you feel about them, only the fact that they feel a
certain way about you, and they are more than willing to look creepy, if it gets
them closer to you. In their mind, they are oblivious to how they are coming
off, because they are blinded by an infatuation with the person they are harassing.
The
only way to combat this, is to never, no matter what they say, or what they do,
acknowledge them. Any sense they get, that you are open to communication, or available
at all for them to manipulate, is going to feed their behavior. Even if your
response is negative or condescending, all they want and need is an open door.
These people are already convinced that all they need from you, to achieve whatever
is they want, is dialogue. They honestly believe they can manipulate you into
being interested, if they just have a chance to talk to you. For iPhone users
that can mean even starting to type a response and stopping, if the other
person is an iPhone user too. The point is, they saw that you were thinking of
responding, and that alone is enough fuel to keep them going. Let me give you 3 tips to keep the creeps
away.
1.
Block first, think later
It’s
common sense really. Say you get a random text from some number you don’t know
saying “Hope your well”. Your first reaction, is to text back “Who is this?”, and
BAM open door. They got you to respond. That was the open door to blow up your
phone until they can get you to respond again. Consider the fact that it is
highly likely, that anyone you want to associate with in any capacity, is
already stored in your phone. Unless they are sending a message saying “Hey, it’s
Chris, got a new phone, this is my new number”, they are probably just someone
you don’t need or want to talk to. If you respond at all, they are going to
keep at it. Why block immediately you ask? It’s simple. If they try once and
get no response, they will try again. How annoying is it to get those random
text every day, or once a week from the weirdo you don’t know, saying “hey,
what’s up”? Just block, them and be done with it. They can keep going all they
want, but you won’t have to see it anymore, and if they are truly someone you
want to talk to, they are likely going to say their name in the initial message.
If they don’t, it’s because they want you to ask the question.
2.
Ignore, ignore, ignore
Never
respond, give them nothing. If they snapchat you, don’t view it, block them. If
they Facebook message you, don’t read it, block them. The beautiful thing about
social media is the ability to block at the click of a button, but the downside
is, if you look at what they sent, most often they will know you did. Just
refrain. Don’t open it, don’t view it, and don’t respond to it. Give them
nothing and they have no fuel to keep going, give them anything and they’ll
never stop.
3.
Delete
Once
they are blocked, delete whatever they sent. Get rid of it. You don’t need it
in your phone, on your screen, or in your head. When you go to snapchat your
friends, you don’t need to see their snap still sitting there, begging to be
opened. When you go to message someone on Facebook, you don’t need the off
chance, that you accidently open their message and they get a notification that
it’s been viewed. You definitely don’t need a drunk night, where you get some
liquid courage and decide to message them back and tell them off. It takes one
wrong click, to give them something that tells them you’re at least intrigued. Delete
it immediately, and put that much more distance between you and the unwanted
pursuer. They may find other ways to try to get to you, but you can handle
those attempts the same way. Maybe even report them. It’s likely you aren’t the
first victim or the last, and you reporting them, will cause them to be removed
from an opportunity to do the same thing to someone else. A little knowledge
goes a long way.
These
tools are there at your disposal for a reason, so use them. This type of
behavior has only increased with the access of social media, and the only way
to stop it, is to get ahead of it. You have the power in your finger tips to
stop the creeps before they even have a chance to get started. The more we
allow it, the worse it will get. Take my advice and make them disappear. Don’t
be the victim, be the aggressor. Block, ignore, delete, and be done. 3 simple tools,
to keep the creeps away. Good luck!
